That blurred line of friend and something more. A lot of us 20-somethings have this person. But what does it mean? Are you emotionally inept? Are you delusional thinking this person wants to be with you when they really think you’re just their friend? OR this there something there? Something inexplicable, you and that person know is there, but aren’t ready to act on it. Well, act. Time is too valuable to not know. Sh*t or get off the pot so to speak.
Call Said Friend Out. Face it. It’s not working this current situation you found put yourself in, and it needs to be addressed. You drive yourself crazy with the “what-ifs” and the “somedays.” Ya know what, some people don’t get a someday. Your life is now. Not tomorrow and not possibly with a person who isn’t brave enough to tell you’re “friends only” or “forever.” Call them out.
Come Clean. Do you want more? Or do you consider them just a friend? Either way, you must come out with it. It’s the correct and healthy thing to do for the both of you. This song and dance about “oh, we’re really just friends” and then making out every time you see one another. Unacceptable. You’re way too old for this business.
Assess What You Want: Do you want to be with them? Or is it just convenient because no one else is knocking-your-socks-off, currently? Totally normal. We all want someone to text all the time, send smiley-faces to, or eat pizza and have a binge-watching marathon of House of Cards. Duuuhhh, but you two are currently dysfunctional, weird, and confusing not only you but your entire world. Help me, help you.
Be Okay With Either All Result Options. One of my good gal-pals always says, “trust the process.” She usually says it in a completely facetious way, but it’s a must. Take some time to think through all the possible outcomes and be okay with all of them. Essential for your sanity. Friends. Couple. Not friends. Kind the only three ways it can turn out. It could take some time to process so we’ll hold.
Move On. Whether it be together, alone, or as friends you need to move on. Your heart and head will feel 1,000 times better knowing what will come of you and your friend. No more friendationship. It’s not even a real word. Unlike, bootylicious… which you are, so go on with your bootylicious self! Grow a pair. Talk to the person. You can do this.
Know people currently in a “friendationship?” Share this with them. They need to know the madness must end.
Oh did I need this. I really needed someone to be straight up and completely raw with me. I am 22, and I've suffered through this just about 2x, in very different ways though. I am definitely learning though, and I am getting better at knowing what I can handle, and who I want to even give my time too, because I realize my very time, is precious, and guys only get my attention if I allow them to, I have the ultimate decision in where the relationship goes or not, and I've learned to simply just say no, to any and every situation that I don't want to be apart of, and that;s okay, its my life, and every minute of it belongs to me. I am choosing my own happiness. So thank you for being a reminder to myself on how good I am, how good we are as women!
Warmly,
Karie,
KarieNicole.com