Want to make a difference this Christmas? My gal pal, Liza Haynie Heaton needs you. She's in the fight of her life against Synovial Sarcoma. This type of cancer is a rare form of cancer targeting young adults. Liza is one of the most amazing women I know. Brilliant, funny, sweet as pie, and the strongest person I know.
Thank y'all so much for your love and support. #LoveForLiza
The other day, I was on the phone with a friend who had gotten broken up with, and things were really not going well. They felt like they were at a stand still. Why couldn't they get over said ex? What had they done wrong? The "going to be alone forever" statement was said multiple times. Ya know, the whole kit and caboodle. Y'all. If you saw this person you'd die. I mean drop dead gorgeous, brilliant beyond belief, and has one of the biggest hearts I've known in my short quarter of a century here on earth. But what was it? It had been a while (at least six months) and they still weren't over it. And this tool, was still captivating their thoughts and more importantly their heart. Break ups are the. worst. Take if from someone who falls hard and fast. Call it intense, crazy or psycho. You can really call it whatever the hell you want, but those are the facts. I love people fully. I love them to my core, and that makes getting over someone 1000 times harder when things crash and burn. Want to know a little secret? I'm still a badass, even after being cheated on, lied to, and down right played by a few jokers in my life. Blunt and honest is back at it. I'm giving you my 5 secrets on how I got over my most recent ex.
1. Stay Busy
Currently, downtime is your enemy. It lets your mind wander, and makes you want to crawl into bed and watch Titanic for the one-millionth time. (Spoiler alert: Kate is selfish and lets Jack die while she's on that damn door.) You need to be constantly doing something. Happy hour? Last minute road trip with semi-randos? Church? Shopping? E. All of the above. Movement is good. Keep on, keepin' on. The more you're in public, the less inclined you are to burst into tears. No one actually bursts into tears in Nordstrom. It's too lovely of a place.
"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands. They just don't." Thank you, Elle Woods. Now, I'm not saying you were ever on the verge of killing someone, my point is exercise. What better way to release frustration than working out! They say they best revenge is being happy, right? Next time you run into the loser who let you go, you'll look smokin' and be chemically high. Thanks, Crossfit. Ya saved me on that one.
3. Focus On You
Okay, I'm here to say this piece of advice was the most annoying when I broke up with the last lame-o, but I semi-get it now. When people told me that, I was devastated. I pictured my life with the person, and now that wasn't going to be case. Of course I was going to focus on myself! I HAD NO ONE ELSE TO FOCUS ON... idiots. I think what they mean, is become the best version of yourself. Read all those books you keep buying on your kindle. Go to Spain. Make out with that hot boy/girl you always wondered about innocently. Dance on the table. Get on Tinder. Go on a date with someone different every night of the week. You know why? Because you CAN. It's you time, baby. Milk it.
This one is important. Maybe read this point twice for good measure. Trust. Trust in The Lord. For me, I believe in Jesus so that's who I trust with every fiber of my being, but if Jesus isn't your jam, trust in the universe, Buddah, Allah, that good things will happen for you. God won't show you gold and give you silver. If you've always pictured yourself with 6 babies, a white picket fence, and a hot spouse. Well dammit, you'll have it. Just not with said person who just exited.
5. Delete. Delete. Delete.
In a world of social media, it seems pretty impossible to make a clean break. The jerk keeps posting all over your instagram, becoming facebook friends with hot people, tweeting hysterical tweets, and talking to randomly on g-chat just to "see how you're doing." "Yeah, I'm good, bro. Gotta go." No. No. Not acceptable. You delete their ass. Immediately. It's not immature. It's for your own personal sanity! You don't need to be seeing tagged photos of them hanging all over their new bar rebound, and you certainly to not need to be talking to them in any form or fashion. Delete them from everything. Yes, that also means your phone. Don't give yourself the opportunity to drunk call or text "WHY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!" or "I just miss you" or "Can we talk?" You don't need them. You're out doin' you. Bein' a rockstar. And if they contact you? That's on them, but do. not. reply. I repeat. Do not. Things end for a reason, no need to drag your emotions through anymore heart-ache. "Ain't nobody got time for that."
I promise things will be okay. It might be the end of this relationship, but it's certainly not the end of your life! There is time, and time is on your side. Go have your adventure. There is a big bright world out there just waiting for you to make your mark. You are not defined by your break up. You still rock.
Are you recently out of a relationship? What helped you say "sayonara sucker?" Tell me, tell me. I've got a friend in need here.
I love this! A great reminder success comes to those who work hard and never gift up. How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Are you twenty lbs. bigger? I definitely am... yikes. This week, I'll be sharing my gift guides! Yay!
I travel 28 weekends out of the year for work. Exciting? Yes. Exhausting? Also, yes. Traveling can really take it out of you. The lines, the invasive pat-downs, taking off your shoes. Traveling since 9/11 has become drastically more difficult, but I'm here to help. I have the best travel items to ensure your carry-on is organized and lovely, making your travel experience as pleasant as possible.
1. Lo & Sons OG Bag - This bag is my life. It has compartments for everything. Don't believe me? Watch the video. I'm completely obsessed and get compliments when heading through security. I have the black/tan/gold.
2. Happy Plugs Earbuds - Earbuds are key. Whether it's listening to music, an audiobook or catching up on the latest episode of Scandal earbuds are a key item for me. I love my gold happy plug earbuds.
3. Travel Wallet - A travel wallet is a must. I received a yummy Kate Spade one for my birthday. I love how they have a pocket for your boarding pass and your passport. No need to fish around your carry-on for either, each item is tucked neatly away with it's assigned spot. It makes 5:00 AM security lines a bit more pleasant.
4. Cashmere Pillow and Blanket - Have you ever used an airplane blanket? Yuck. I'm always nervous I'll get the blanket that actually isn't new and has some sort of fungus or lice. Gross. A travel blanket, neck pillow, and eye-mask allows you to sleep away your flight and feel a bit more at home.
5. Tieks - I wrote a review on these puppies a while back here, but I can't tell you enough how much I love my Tieks. The best travel flat around. So easy to slip on and off when going through security, and they feel like pillows for your feet. Cutie colors for every outfit, lovely packaging upon arrival, and a customer service team who is out of this world. I adore Tieks and everything they stand for... get them. You won't regret it.
Do you travel often? What are your to-go's for travel essentials? I'd love to hear them!
The Every Girl is one of my favorite websites for many reasons, but I think my favorite part is how inspiring it is to see other women makin' things happen.
I love this print. Stop making excuses and just do things. You can buy it here! Shop any of their goodies as well for the rapidly approaching Christmas season here. Hint: I want everything. Happy Monday, Party People. Do things.
I loved my childhood, elementary school especially. I genuinely miss it. We had recess. Mom made my lunch. Wore my backpack slung over my one shoulder. Gap Kids was my favorite store. I pretty much crushed K-5. Childhood was really heaven on earth for me. Since then, I've expanded my brand awareness to other amazing labels and designers. Fashion is a true passion. Today, though. It's like my world's collided. Gap + Kate Spade. WHY? WHY AM I NO LONGER A CHILD! This would've been ultimate jam. Please just look at the goodness of two of my favorite ready-to-wear brands created.
I might have to buy this shirt. It's my personality to a tee. #prettysneaky #XXL
Oh hello, cutest stocking stuffer ever. High five to these mittens!
I'm obsessed. Bow pants. Could you really get any cute? I ask you.
The collection is so adorable, it makes me miss the days of my page-boy hair cut and jean capris.
If you follow me on instagram, you probably already know I work for Watters. If you don't follow me on instagram... surprise! I work for Watters. I decided to do a collaboration with them to show the ways you can wear your bridal gown after your big day. I posted the top to this skirt here a few weeks ago. We went rocker glam today, channeling my inner Gwen Stefani.
I'm stepping out on a ledge today. I'm aware, but as of late I feel like I should bring awareness to the life of singledom. This post doesn't come from a place of bitterness, but more of in the words of Joey Gladstone, cut-it-out! I'm constantly surrounded by people who are either engaged, just got married (cue 90% of my friends), or friends who are in serious relationships. I adore these people. I make a living on women getting married for goodness sake! Love is my jam. Favorite holiday, Valentine's day. Favorite movies, all rom-coms. Went to a summer camp with hearts because I love, love so much. Now that you know my stance on love and marriage let's get to it...
Oh, will I? Because before you gave me this condescending piece or reassurance, I was sure I'd be the crazy cat-lady in 2B the rest of my life! Spare us. We are aware that our lobster is out there, and we'll find him/her. Maybe, we don't want the responsibility, or we don't have the time, or maybe just maybe a relationship isn't at the forefront of our mind at the present state. While we appreciate you if you're being sincere and don't mean it that way... it comes off like you think you're better than us for finding someone to share your life with before us. We weren't worried in the slightest, until that comment.
2. Aw, good for you! Focus on you.
As opposed to my nonexistent spouse? Y'all, single people don't only focus on themselves. We have a family, a vast array of friends, we volunteer, and have active spiritual lives. I personally fill my life with almost too many things to focus on myself. Unattached doesn't automatically mean, self absorbed, thank you.
3. I love that you're doing that career thing.
So if we were dating someone we wouldn't have to work? If that's the case, I'm signing up for Match.com immediately. Kidding, I love my job. I really do not understand this statement. Of course I'm focusing on my career! I have to pay bills and be an adult! Does having a boyfriend mean I don't have to do any of these things? Is that a real relationship or do you have sugar-daddy? Like come on, people.
4. Once you have a boyfriend/girlfriend things are just different.
This phrase almost makes my blood boil. I've had boyfriends in my life. Serious ones, summer loves, guys where things were "complicated," yet I don't think things were "just different." I'm extremely social by nature and maybe that's the difference, but I'm a firm believer of a well-balanced life. You need friend time. Alone time. Productive days. Lazy days. Your life shouldn't be dramatically different when you do find said person. Things aren't different, you're using your spouse as a cop-out to not participate ______ activity of the moment. Not cool, Robert Frost.
5. Before (insert spouse name here) I was just like you...
Highly doubtful. Why? Because we're all stinkin' different. I am a large homebody. More so than people think. When we do socialize, we get into it. As we should! We're in our 20's, socializing is a requirement. For all you coupled-folk, single people don't party like it's 1999 every day of the week. We also have to be in the office at 8:00 am and not vomit in meetings.
Can anyone relate to the above statements? I hear them weekly at work, friend outings, volunteer meetings, or randomly talking to someone at an event. One of my best friend's got married over the weekend, and these 5 statements were said to me multiple times. I'm the ultimate sap about relationships, but good gravy. If one more person does the head tilt and says "good for you!"... we're gonna have a "Come to Jesus."
Feelin' extra sleepy today after a weekend of celebrating best friends getting married. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short! Nose to the grindstone ladies and gents, let's make it happen this week.