I’m stepping out on a ledge today. I’m aware, but as of late I feel like I should bring awareness to the life of singledom. This post doesn’t come from a place of bitterness, but more of in the words of Joey Gladstone, cut-it-out! I’m constantly surrounded by people who are either engaged, just got married (cue 90% of my friends), or friends who are in serious relationships. I adore these people. I make a living on women getting married for goodness sake! Love is my jam. Favorite holiday, Valentine’s day. Favorite movies, all rom-coms. Went to a summer camp with hearts because I love, love so much. Now that you know my stance on love and marriage let’s get to it…
1. Oooh, you’ll find someone.
Oh, will I? Because before you gave me this condescending piece or reassurance, I was sure I’d be the crazy cat-lady in 2B the rest of my life! Spare us. We are aware that our lobster is out there, and we’ll find him/her. Maybe, we don’t want the responsibility, or we don’t have the time, or maybe just maybe a relationship isn’t at the forefront of our mind at the present state. While we appreciate you if you’re being sincere and don’t mean it that way… it comes off like you think you’re better than us for finding someone to share your life with before us. We weren’t worried in the slightest, until that comment.
2. Aw, good for you! Focus on you.
As opposed to my nonexistent spouse? Y’all, single people don’t only focus on themselves. We have a family, a vast array of friends, we volunteer, and have active spiritual lives. I personally fill my life with almost too many things to focus on myself. Unattached doesn’t automatically mean, self absorbed, thank you.
3. I love that you’re doing that career thing.
So if we were dating someone we wouldn’t have to work? If that’s the case, I’m signing up for Match.com immediately. Kidding, I love my job. I really do not understand this statement. Of course I’m focusing on my career! I have to pay bills and be an adult! Does having a boyfriend mean I don’t have to do any of these things? Is that a real relationship or do you have sugar-daddy? Like come on, people.
4. Once you have a boyfriend/girlfriend things are just different.
This phrase almost makes my blood boil. I’ve had boyfriends in my life. Serious ones, summer loves, guys where things were “complicated,” yet I don’t think things were “just different.” I’m extremely social by nature and maybe that’s the difference, but I’m a firm believer of a well-balanced life. You need friend time. Alone time. Productive days. Lazy days. Your life shouldn’t be dramatically different when you do find said person. Things aren’t different, you’re using your spouse as a cop-out to not participate ______ activity of the moment. Not cool, Robert Frost.
5. Before (insert spouse name here) I was just like you…
Highly doubtful. Why? Because we’re all stinkin’ different. I am a large homebody. More so than people think. When we do socialize, we get into it. As we should! We’re in our 20’s, socializing is a requirement. For all you coupled-folk, single people don’t party like it’s 1999 every day of the week. We also have to be in the office at 8:00 am and not vomit in meetings.
Can anyone relate to the above statements? I hear them weekly at work, friend outings, volunteer meetings, or randomly talking to someone at an event. One of my best friend’s got married over the weekend, and these 5 statements were said to me multiple times. I’m the ultimate sap about relationships, but good gravy. If one more person does the head tilt and says “good for you!”… we’re gonna have a “Come to Jesus.”
Happy Tuesday, sh*t just got real.
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